Kids

How do you help the shy kid?

Calling all overly opinionated persons, type A Mom’s, educated professionals and non-experienced persons all are welcome. How do you help the shy kid? 

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My daughter will be 3 next week and she is the classic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Yall see the pictures I post on IG and FB, she turns up. She is hilarious, she says really funny things and does her own thing. That is My Girl at home, or when it’s just us. Run into me in the streets and you will see the other side. She is socially silent, one might even think she isn’t able to speak. You say Hi and she frowns her face at you. She might reach out for one of us or simply fold her arms while giving you major side eye. So how do you help the shy kid?

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Photo Credit: D. Todd

This behavior isn’t only reserved for strangers, she is this way with everyone. Aunt/Uncle/Grandparents a like. Her only sibling is 7 years older and he is her favorite person to love and hate. She has had no trauma, she has been serving shade since infancy. Maybe the answer is simply leave her alone. I took her to My Gym for a little fun, we went for a birthday party and she had a blast. Despite all of her fun she didn’t speak to anyone little kids included.

Don’t be fooled by My Girl’s personality she is very smart, very witty and hilarious. Matter fact when I told her she was hilarious her response was “I’m sensible” umm little girl what?

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Photo Credit: D. Todd

We were trying to convince her to smile in at least one of our family pictures.

I’ve not actually tried anything different. I believe in allowing my children to be in charge of their bodies so I don’t force them on anyone. I don’t make them hug Aunt so and so or anything like that. I do however expect them to speak, which is just good home training.  Home training she could care less about right now.

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Photo Credit: D. Todd

If you’ve had/have or know of a little shy girl/guy how did they get over it? Did they out grow up? Should I just leave her alone?

how do you help the shy kid

How did you help the shy kid? Leave a comment below or on Facebook or Google+.

Photo Credit: D. Todd

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  1. Nicole @Tinystepsmommy

    This is not very unusual for more introverted children. They can be amazingly sweet and outgoing in the comfort of their homes, but reserved and seemingly without personalities in the presence of everyone else. She will outgrow part of this, but will probably always feel uncomfortable with people she doesn’t know. My first daughter was like this. It was so difficult for me because her brother – who is only 16 months older – was and still is so outgoing. Everyone loved him and his personality. By contrast she seemed almost rude. Some extended family just didn’t get it and would treat them differently as a result. She is now 7.5 years old and she is much better about new situations and people. She greets extended family with a brief albeit not very sincere hug and says hello or answers her name to strangers very quietly. I don’t force her to do more. I know she will come into her own eventually. At home she can be fierce and very funny. Her sense of humor is amazing and very much beyond her years. She is introspective and I love all of this about her. I wouldn’t worry too much or push. You are doing the right thing.

    • MimiCuteLips

      Nicole this is great information, especially with your experience. My kids are night and day personality wise. However like you stated Nori is well beyond her years so I won’t push her. I do constantly remind her that she is safe and she is okay I hope that helps her.

  2. Yvette

    Nori is probably an observer – just like my husband – which means they don’t grow out of it. In their quiet space, amidst all the activities, they’re checking people out (not the outside dressed up person, but the internal real body that’s under the clothing). I bet if you questioned her about events, she could tell you everything that happened, how she felt and what she thought of the people around her.

    • MimiCuteLips

      Hmmmmmmmmm You might be on to something. I’m going to pick her brain a little bit. I never thought to ask her questions like this. She does have a pretty decent memory about things. Thanks for your perspective Ms. Yvette.

  3. Tamara @ We3Travel

    It used to pain my heart to see my daughter on the playground at preschool always apart from the other kids. I projected and stressed and worried too much. Now, at 10, she has many friends, can comfortably go into new situations from sleep away camp to activities where she doesn’t know anyone and be just fine. You don’t want to change who she is, just teach her the skills she will need. Before she started kindergarten I tried to role play meeting new friends and give her some conversation starters. As she got older I found that the American Girl books on making friends was helpful. Just try not to label her or push her too hard either, just let her warm up and give her the tools she needs for when she is ready to interact Also, don’t be afraid to keep exposing her to new situations. I found that because we were involved with many different groups of people, she needed to adapt and learn instead of just always being sheltered with the people she is comfortable with. Good luck! I love my quiet thinker who can also be funny, charming and a very good friend.

    • MimiCuteLips

      Tamara, this was refreshing and just want I needed. I have been labeling her and now I feel bad. I’m going to continue to expose her to new situations as you said and just let her be. I like the idea of of role playing how to meet new friends. That is great tip. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Adanna

    I have no experience or meaningful help but I think you should just do what you’re doing and let her be. She’s cautious, she’s observing and she’s probably an introvert/extrovert like me. My family says that I was the same as a child, I didn’t speak to anyone even close relatives. She looks happy and thriving in the photos you post so I think you’re doing a great job. At her age kids tend to play alongside each other and not so much with each other so give her sometime. My daughter i in Pre-K and I notice kids who enjoy their own company in her class all the time. Keep being a good mom 🙂 nice family pics btw

    • MimiCuteLips

      Adanna this was very helpful. lol As an extrovert I never thought about how to raise an introvert. You’re right though, she is happy, healthy and thriving. I will allow her to do so at her on speed. I can’t wait to see how she does in a school setting and when making friends. <3

  5. Demetria

    First, she is so freaking adorable and your family is beautiful! Second, I agree with the other ladies that she is just observant and that’s really a good thing. You won’t have to worry about anyone getting over on her.

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  7. Ayieta

    I have an 18 year old stepdaughter who remains an introvert. Becoming her stepmother when she was 13, I tried to keep my opinions to myself since her mother was still very much a part of her life. I did not want to seem like the “evil” stepmother. Being a bit of an introvert myself and growing out of my shell more as I aged and experienced the world, I, like her parents, felt she would grow out of it. However that has not happened and she grows more introverted and disconnected as the days pass. Her parents now have her in therapy to assist with this, but if I had it to do over, I would have insisted that we push her a little more to explore the world on her own terms.

    • MimiCuteLips

      Oh wow Ayieta, I totally understand. Its hard to find the middle ground, there is still hope. Maybe things will turn around for her. I’m happy to say that my daughter has naturally started to come out of her shell. I always cheer her on and tell her how proud I am that she stepped outside of her comfort zone.

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