Friendship is a big deal to me, I don’t have a ton of close friends but the ones I have I keep close. I feel like I’ve always been a good friend post Elementary school. I think we learn the dynamics of friendship from grade 4-6. Some friendships require more work than others but a friendship is a relationship and so there is work involved. There is great value in friendship.
I am a very social gal, love to chat; I’m all about a good time, and rather easy to get along with. My friendships kind of fall into the following categories:
Childhood: My girls that I’ve known since Elementary school. These girls and I have childhood secrets like who we had a crush on, who our first kiss was and silly things of that nature. We have remained close during middle school, high school and into our adult life. We aren’t as close as we once were but we pick up where we left off when we do get together.
Adult: I’ve always heard it is hard to make friends once you become an adult. I agree in some regards but over all, I beg to differ. I’ve made two great friends in particular post High School. The first I met at the tender age of 19. She and I worked together and clicked right away. Next thing you know we were hanging out 4 or 5 times a week. One of my best friends is one I acquired at the age of 23. We hit it off instantly and became a force to reckon with. She and I are the closer than me and any of my girls. If you told me I could connect with such valuable friends this late in life (I mean because 23 is old right) I would have called you a liar.
Associate: Ladies I’m cool with and will hang out with from time to time. We might not speak often or share secrets but we have things in common. These young ladies also have fantastic personalities.
I say all of that to say… friends will come and go. We’ve all read the reason, season, lifetime forward that started during the inception of email and forwards. The key to staying power is communication. I have fallen off with some of my girls and grown closer to others. Even as adults we will break up to make up with our friends just as fast as a toddler will quit being your friend. The difference is you allow one another to be their own person. Give them space, talk it over, sip some wine and move on with life as FRIENDS.
Or so it should be right? Sometimes we make decisions that may become detrimental to our friendships. As I get older I realize the importance of surrounding myself with those who are headed in the same general direction as I. I want friends that have goals in life, going places and making good decisions. I’m cool with some poor choices here and there (nobody is perfect) but when you continue to make poor life choices I have to question the integrity of our friendship. I question your integrity as a person.
It is 2010 get on board!
You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction Life is really about moving on – Oprah Winfrey