Today parenting almost got the best of me, it didn’t knock me out but it most certainly knocked me down.
My 9 year old son got in trouble today, I don’t mean a little trouble I mean suspended from school trouble. What did he do? He decided to get into a fight with another kid at school. Does he know better? He most certainly does yet here we are. This might hit close to home for some of you, many of you may think it’s the education systems fault and their teachers, many teachers may think it’s a parent-engagement problem, all in all – it’s a mixture of both that can be overcome with dedication and time.
There is nothing more disappointing than a phone call from your child’s school. First reaction is panic; you think OMG something happened to my kid is everything okay. Your second reaction is OMG what has my child done now. Well it all went down something like this.
School: “Ms. Robinson, your child got into a fight today and we need you to come and pick him up.
Me: *deep sigh* Okay, I will be there shortly. (Hangs up phone)
Me: Babe the school called, our son got into a fight and has to be picked up now.
Pappy: *Deep Sigh* What? What happened? *insert other parental questions you would normally ask*
Me: I didn’t bother to ask for any details, just told the woman I would be there.
Pappy: I’m on my way. (Hangs phone up)
Today my son got the lecture of all lectures. We talk to him all the time, when I say all the time I mean all the time. He and his father have talks until he is blue in the face. Today I was just parentally exhausted. I felt drained and flat out defeated. How did we get here? Why are we here? Why doesn’t my son just do what he knows is right. This isn’t learned behavior so where is this coming from. My son is a black belt in martial arts and they teach him discipline and self-control. We teach him discipline and self-control. Where was his self-control?
Before I knew it I was just going OFF, not loud ghetto off because we don’t do that. But stern, firm in your face going off on my son in front of his principal and other Administrators.
I told him that his parents are tired, we do all that we can for him but we are tired. We tell him and teach him what is right. His grandparents tell him and teach him what is right. His Aunt and Uncle teach him and tell him what is right. His teachers teach him and tell him what is right. He knows what is right yet we are here. He has two parents in his home and most of the kids in his school probably don’t have that; I never had that. Not only does he have two parents in his home he has two very hands on parents. When the school calls we come, we are there for award banquets at 1 o’clock in the afternoon, we are there when something is going on. We are there when we need to be and just because. The parents and staff at his school know us because we are active parents. I told him that if he continues down this path nothing good will come from it. Boarding School, Juvenile Detention Centers and jail. Those are not options for him period. When they say it takes a village they were telling the truth Ruth, but his village is exhausted, as his parents we would never give up on him but this kind of behavior is not okay. I know some of this is just kid behavior and some of this is us reaping what we have sewn but either way this aint cool.
Now don’t get me wrong my son is smart, very smart and that’s what pisses me off the most. At just 9 years old my son consistently tops the score charts with his testing, not just in his grade or school but also in the county and state. He is a quick learner and knows his stuff, he even skipped second grade and went to third. All amazing things! Those things mean NOTHING when you get a call to say your child is suspended.
He knows that there are consequences and repercussions for his actions from school, at home and at martial arts. I know in my heart that we are awesome parents raising very smart, healthy and happy children. But when you have days like this sometimes you just need to reassure yourself. I gave him a hug, kiss and told him I loved him. Then ate a huge bowl of ice cream and cuddled with his Pappy on the sofa.