Love

Dear Son, I want you to know…

Hey Cuties,

I’ve gotten a bit personal today; I’ve been all in my feelings about parenting. My son is wrapping up his last two months of elementary school and I feel some type of way. I’m far too young {36} to have a middle school child. It seemed like this phase was light years away, yet we are here. I’m sharing a love letter to my son, my first born.

Dear Son,

Fifteen minutes ago we were sitting at the kitchen counter just chatting away. I should have been in bed and you most certainly should have been in bed.  Usually I would fuss at you for still being awake but the truth is I enjoyed our conversation.  Dad had fallen asleep on the sofa and your little sister was tucked away in her bed. It was just you and I, and you told me about the Dads, Dudes & Doughnut event you and Dad attended at your school yesterday. You even shared some wisdom that EZ Street shared with the kids and the parents. I was impressed as I listened to you speak. It warmed my heart to know you actually paid attention to what he had to say.

Dear Son 1

Dad & Dude

We’ve had our toughest year yet, it seems like Dad and I just couldn’t see eye to eye with you. We frequently felt like we’d failed you as parents. Yes, we were there every step of the day, we were up all hours of the night doing homework and school projects with you yet we didn’t feel like we were actually reaching you.  We would have endless talks but see no results.  My parenting tank was empty and I was barely running on fumes. I constantly drug around the fear of having failed you as your parent.

I must be honest, I always am. I forgot what it felt like to be eleven years old. It is hard to remember those things while in the midst of a parenting storm. I always told you I loved you and I do but it was really hard, I mean really, really hard to like you. I knew that this would pass but I wasn’t sure how long it was going to take.

I no longer knew what else to do, I didn’t know how to reach you. Frustrations were taking over so much it was hard to see the good in you. I knew it was in there somewhere but it had been so long since I’d had a glimpse of it. Meanwhile I’m watching you get taller and taller. Your feet were getting bigger and bigger. Your voice is changing, MY GOSH YOUR VOICE IS CHANGING. While the external changes were obvious, the internal ones were invisible.  Now that the worse is behind us AMEN I remember what it felt like to be 11. You are headed into middle school; you are no longer my little boy. Soon enough you will be telling me about the little girls you like. You pretend like that isn’t happening now and I’m okay with it; I’m pretending too.

I’ve been calling you the man-child and you always ask me why. At this stage and phase of life it is the best summary of the change that is taking place.  I want you to know that I’m proud of you, that I’ve been really proud of you for a long time. You’re such a smart kid with a big heart. I hope you never stop being that person. You are a natural and I gave you some great looks to go with that.

Always know that Mom, Dad & Nori love you to the moon and back again. Dad and I wouldn’t be doing our job if we weren’t hard on you. God has given you brilliance and that comes with accountability. We will always hold you accountable, as you continue to grow you will learn to hold yourself accountable.

Middle School will be monumental for you. I’m looking forward to watching you grow, helping you define who Nasir is and becoming the amazing young man that you were created to be. You are the Greatest Man. I just need you to know that.

Love you forever,

Mommy

Dear Son, I want you to know...

Photo Credit: D. Todd

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mimicutelips

Article written by:

Mimi Green is the Lifestyle Media Correspondent and editor behind MimiCuteLips®. She is a mother of two and a girlfriend to one. You can find Mimi working media at your favorite events, traveling and trying out new adventures, or working on a dope DIY project.

Join the discussion

  1. Alli

    They grow up so fast! My oldest grandchild will be 12 in a few weeks. I’m much too young for this, yet I’m loving every moment of it. Looks like you’ve got a great kid with a bright future.

  2. Kemkem

    He is a cutie! What a lovely letter to your son. Sappy, gooey and full of love :-). Things a boy wants from his mom but would never admit it. Makes you feel old doesn’t it??? Hahhhhaaa!!! You’re just a spring chicken though. I wonder how come kids nowadays grow really tall and all? Enjoy him till the girls claim him.. 🙂

    • MimiCuteLips

      All kinds of gooey for sure. It totally makes me feel old. I’m holding on as long as I can, I know the girls are coming for me.

  3. Pam

    This is such a sweet letter! I know that parenting can be hard and you won’t always see eye to eye with your partner or your child but it sounds like you really care and are trying your very best. That is what matters!

    • MimiCuteLips

      Thanks Pam, parenting can be tough. This is my first born so this is new territory for me. I love him to pieces though.

  4. Eva

    What a handsome guy! Mine just turned 11 last month, and I was definitely not ready. Middle school is next year, and I better get ready! Wonderful letter…

  5. Liz Mays

    This is really sweet letter. I hope your son enjoys the new subjects they introduce in middle school!

  6. Eloise

    Letters to kids are important, if he hasn’t read this yet, you should show him when you feel he’s ready to read it! I must say, I love when people speak from the heart, you can never go wrong that way! continue to give him lots of love and support… he’s a cute one, watch those girls Momma! : )

    • MimiCuteLips

      Thanks Eloise, he hasn’t read it yet. I’m going to have him read it today. I’m a bit nervous for some reason, thanks for the advice.

  7. Chantal

    This was a great letter to your son. It is hard watching them grow up but that is life and it is bitter sweet.

  8. Cori

    This is very exciting but scary at the same time. I can’t believe how fast they grow, they age faster than we do (it seems haha)!

  9. Chris Hoover

    This so sweet. I like reading a letter from kids and from parents also. Knowing their love is endless.

  10. Kita

    Love your honesty. My son is right behind yours in age so I totally understand the feeling. I’m afraid even more now that I am single parent. The hardest years are coming and I pray his father is watching, guiding and protecting him from Heaven. Hugs to you mama. You and your hubs are doing a great job. Stay encouraged.

    • MimiCuteLips

      Then you know what it feels like. I’m sure his father will be watching and guiding from heaven. That might help him do better, so he can make the both of you proud.

  11. Tia @ financiallyfitandfab

    This is so sweet. Good luck to your son as he goes off to middle school!

  12. Dana Carmel

    Such a beautiful post! I think you shared something that many parents would be hesitant to admit – that sometimes parents don’t like their kids, but that doesn’t mean that they love them any less. I’m not a parent yet, but I totally get that. I hope that your son will read and re-read this letter over the years and feel warm and fuzzy with the knowledge that he’s so loved.

    • MimiCuteLips

      Aww thanks Dana. I think parents struggle with being honest with themselves. It allows me to move on when I can keep it real with my parenting feelings. Its comforting to know that this is a right now (okay a couple of years) feeling and not forever.

  13. Bonnie @wemake7

    What a beautiful letter to your son. My oldest is almost graduating high school and I can’t even believe it. Time flies by way to fast.

  14. Jessica Harlow

    I love this letter to your son and some day he will really appreciate it. It’s so hard to watch them grow up sometimes and yet it is such a source of pride!

  15. Tiany - Social Savvy Mom

    Love this, so special and so important. As a mama to four sons I can relate!

  16. Kara (Kay's Ways)

    Such a handsome young man to some awesome parents. My oldest turned 10 in November and I couldn’t believe we’ve already hit the double digits. While he’s excited about JHS next year I’m the one who’s freaking out but we always instill in our kids to do their best. They’re listening even if they don’t act like it

    • MimiCuteLips

      Thanks Kara. I’m comforted in know they hear us even if they don’t act like it. At least I know it is down in there somewhere.

  17. Franc Ramon

    This can really be helpful for kids to have conversations like this. They have a lot to share and they have a lot of question growing up.

  18. Chrissy

    I’m proud of you and dad for building him up and making sure that you all place him back in line when it needs to happen. Although I was never inside the home I have been a witness to this year and yes it was rough. He is going to be just fine! Oh and that voice – you know how I feel about his voice changing, my goodness where has the time gone. You’re an amazing mother and you teach me things to bring into my own home. Keep up the amazing work bestie – middle school hasn’t even cracked the full surface of life for him yet – but he has an amazing start!

  19. Christine Robinson

    You have me crying

  20. Cee

    I recently went through this with my son’s senior year in high school. I think some of my frustration came from my own anxieties of my son moving into a new phase of his life. Parenting is a huge, sometimes exhausting job, but it’s worth every minute of it.

    • MimiCuteLips

      Cee OMG I bet. (Note to self when he becomes a senior, tuck in your anxiety) It is hard to handle all the pressure.

  21. Susan Quackenbush

    This is such a sweet post! I really appreciate how candid and open you are, I think your son will really appreciate it as he grows up! Thank you for sharing this special part of your life with us! 🙂

  22. Adrienne

    Aw, your baby is growing up. I love your vulnerability in this post. You haven’t failed him as a parent, he just needs time to mature to realize just how much your guidance has really shaped his life. (o:

  23. Holly

    Aww this was so sweet. He has great guidance and it is great that you got the opportunity to have a really good convo with him. We all get older so quickly.

    • MimiCuteLips

      Thanks Holly. I feel like I’ve stopped growing and that he is growing at a super fast pace. I’m trying to keep up though.

  24. Jay | RelaxedThairapy.com

    I love this letter. It gave me goose bumps while reading it. I’m not a parent but I felt every word you wrote….I have a nephew that’s kinda like a son so I get it.

  25. Camesha | Mama Motivator

    Ugh! The tears. I am having a moment. I’m thinking about my own son. You’ve just given me a glimpse of what’s ahead. I’m not ready. I’ve got a while but still.

    You’ve got a great kid. I just know it. His parents seem pretty awesome too. 🙂

  26. Valerie robinson

    This touched my heart! Looks like you are raising a fine young man. They grow up so fast and I know how hard that can be. Glad you are stealing those little moments to have those important conversations. You’ll be surprised how much these children know! Lol

  27. Kristy @ Mommy Hates Cooking

    What a great note to your son! I never believed what my parents used to always say — Time flies when you have kids. Boy do I believe it now!

  28. Sheena Tatum

    You got me all up in my feelings. My oldest son will be 8 in exactly one week. I’m so not ready for tweenagerhood, braces, big shoes, inflated grocery bills, hormones, and grey hairs. Heyzeus be a shield!

    Nasir is so very handsome and looks like him Momma.

    XO

  29. Kasi

    Aw, this was such a sweet moment to share! I can tell you are raising him well! And middle school? Yeah, those girls are coming, lol!

    • MimiCuteLips

      Thanks Kasi, middle school is a new ball park. I’m not ready, I started checking for boys when I got to middle school.

  30. Dana

    Hi Mimi,

    WOW, that was powerful. What a heartfelt letter.

    When I was about 14, things between my Mom and I became tense. It stayed that way for a good 10 years. These days though, we’re good friends – and our relationship is based on mutual respect and we genuinely like one another.

    I look back and wonder sometimes how she put up with me. I was in a lot of pain, and I know I wasn’t an easy kid because of it. When you mentioned how much you love your son, but wasn’t sure about liking him sometimes, I can relate – not only from my perspective as the child back then, but from daring to try to glimpse at my younger self through the eyes of my mother. I’m sure I wasn’t so easy to like either, even though she loved me with everything she had.

    Those teenage years are TOUGH. I can still remember them as if it were yesterday. The need to please everyone. To not know where you fit in. To have rules to follow, but you don’t know why. The understanding that you’re supposed to be a good kid, but you don’t know what that means, nor do you know your place in the world yet.

    Society surrounds us with ideas and principles about what it means to be a successful human being, but what does THAT mean? Does it mean to follow the crowd? To fit in? To do as your parents tell you?

    And what if this doesn’t make sense yet? Des this mean you’re a bad kid?
    You don’t want to disappoint your parents, but you do anyway. Because you’re so confused.

    I hated letting my folks down, but I couldn’t help it. Eventually, I gained insight. I started to care.
    Care is the antidote to the confusion of life.

    I know I went on, but as I said, I can relate. i don’t have kids, but I sure remember being one.

    Thanks for sharing this awesome and personal piece with us.

    • MimiCuteLips

      Dana thanks for being so transparent. This is real life and I know it isn’t just me. It is a lot of us; the teen years are a ball of confusion. I can’t wait for the day that he cares, that is a great summary of it all.

  31. LaShawn

    I love this. I’ve heard Middle school is a whole new ball game. My mother used to teach middle school and she always said it was the most difficult age! But you guys are great. I’m NOT ready to deal with this stage! Thankfully Ive still got time.

    • MimiCuteLips

      She is so right, I’m mentally and emotionally getting ready. But ready I mean Target and wine. Thanks LaShawn.

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  34. Kendra Strodes

    Oh my goodness you are so awesome. I have a 9 year old son myself and I feel like your words in this letter are exactly what I need. Thank you so much. I was googling if Cize by Shaun T really works, and came across this. Mind you, it is 5:38am and I just finished up a talk with my son about honesty, forgiveness, and learning from mistakes. Thank you so so much for sharing this. It was truly meant for me to be awake at this moment just for these words.

    • MimiCuteLips

      Oh Kendra you warm my heart. Know that you aren’t alone there is a huge tribe of us experiencing the same thing. The good news is it won’t last forever, I’m so thankful I was able to be of encouragement when you really needed it. All the best to you and your boy. xoxo

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