I have a lot of favorite things right now, and I will share them with you. I also want to know what your favorites are right now. My new favorite is the Red Table Talk it is a Facebook Show (Facebook Watch) featuring Jada Pinkett Smith, her daughter Willow, and mother Adrienne – three generations of women open their home for a series of candid conversations with family and friends. They are real and they are only a few episodes in, but it is so freaking good.
They do an episode on Monday and then a Facebook LIVE on Wednesday. Episode 1 came out 10 days ago and has 24.8 M views. It was so incredibly good that they followed that episode up with a LIVE Q&A session. I grew up in an extremely blended family (Aunts and Uncles) but my family in my home is not and was not blended. My eyes got watery as I watched and I was sucked all the way in. Jada sat with her husband’s ex-wife and they discussed their journey of blending families and how it did and did not work. LISTEN LINDA! If you have a blended family this is an absolute must watch. If you don’t have a blended family you should watch. At the end of all of this, it is just incredible girl talk.
Let me start with the show topics thus far:
Episode 1: In the premiere episode of Red Table Talk, Jada Pinkett Smith is joined by Will Smith’s ex-wife, Sheree Fletcher for an intimate conversation around their blended family.
Episode 2: Jada invites Sheree back for a LIVE Q&A about blended families, co-mothering, and more!
Episode 3: Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith and Adrienne come together to share a special message to celebrate Mother’s Day.
Episode 4: This week around the Red Table, Jada Pinkett Smith reveals the impact of the tragic death of her longtime best friend, Tupac Shakur. While Willow Smith shares a painful secret for the first time.
Episode 5: Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith, and Adrienne are back for a LIVE Q&A surrounding the impact of loss and how it varies for everyone. Ask them your questions and share your stories in the comments below.
With every topic they have covered I was able to take away something from it.
1st Topic: Blended Families/Co-Mothering
While this is not my personal experience as a woman I can relate to some of their feelings and concerns as a mother. More importantly, it helped me see how we can misconstrue a situation. Even though you have the greatest intentions, and a heart of gold it may not be received the way you intended.
It also shut down the notion that women can’t and don’t get along. They talked it out as grown women, they also had to check the people around them who were not onboard with their way of blending their family. Not checking folks can make things unnecessarily complicated. Not everyone is on board with how you live your life and that is okay. They don’t have to be, and you don’t need them to be. However, you do need to let them know to stay in their lane and dismiss them from your life if they don’t want to fall in line.
2nd Topic: Mother’s Day
This episode they shared all things about motherhood. Naturally, this is one we can talk about forever. My Mom was my example of motherhood. She taught me what I wanted to be and did not want to be as a Mom. No shade! We have opposite personalities and she is a baby boomer and I’m a Generation X. A lot changed from her time to mine. Despite that, she and my grandmother gave me a great example, of what it looks like to put your children first. The importance of being an example you want them to see. I take motherhood seriously and I’m thankful for their love because it made me the incredible Mom that I am to the Manchild and LittleCuteLips.
3rd Topic: Surviving Loss
This was an interesting one for me, right before they filmed Jada got a call telling her one of her friends had died. She composed herself and they went on with the show. She talked about the many people that have died in her life and most notably Tupac. It made me think of my own experience with death.
I was sixteen years old when I experienced a death that I could remember. Matter of fact my friend and would be sister in law (I married her brother 2 years later) died the day after my 16th birthday. At that moment I grew up fast and I didn’t even realize it was happening. I stepped up and was the single support system for my then boyfriend. I helped him take care of his sisters three kids that were left behind along with his parents. They were 2, 3 and & 7 years old. Although I could not replace his sister, coming into his family did help fill a void in some way. Years later that became a lot of pressure on me. Yall, I was sixteen years old taking on a task that a 40-year-old would be stressed over. That experience changed me, it taught me that I had to be strong for others so I needed to suppress my own feelings.
I just kept going, to this day I never really grieved her death. I divorced that family at 22 years old, although I loved them greatly it was a huge burden (for lack of a better word) that was lifted off of me. The crazy part is for six years I did not even realize what I was doing. A Blogger friend recently shared some information about grief and it made me realize that ever since October 19th, 1996 I have denied my feelings. I am always the strength for others but I don’t allow myself to feel. I’m loving to my kids but I keep everything else inside. I am a nervous breakdown waiting to happen because I have so much bottled up in me because I don’t allow myself to deal or feel. Damn! Going to couples counseling has probably kept me from coming unraveled.
At almost 40 these of topics are right on time. I’m all about self-reflecting and growing and understanding me. I missed out on doing that in my 20’s. If the Red Table Talk sounds like your cup of tea check them out.